It starts out ever so quietly, more a sensation, it starts to grow, is my engine’s timing
slipping? Nope, getting too intense. Concerned, I turn down the stereo. Is it the start of an
earthquake?! Can’t be. This is East Texas, doesn’t happen (that we’re aware of anyway).
Whatever it is, the epicenter is heading right for me.
To make sure I’m not in the middle of an Irwin Allen made for TV disaster movie, I quickly scan
the sky for a crippled aircraft determined to utilize me to soften their crash landing. Nope,
all quiet on the sky front. OH GOD, IT MUST BE BEHIND ME! While bracing for impact, my eyes dart
to the rear view mirror, fully expecting to see a tanker truck, on fire, flipping end over end
towards me! But noooo, still a good quarter mile behind me a bouncing monster
woofer masquerading as a sports car. Lord, even the wheels are speakers!
In a matter of seconds I’ve gone from peacefully waiting on the light to trying
to calm my racing heart rate from a preconceived near death experience!
Then starts the gamut of emotions.
Humiliation – whiplash from checking to see if anyone caught the panic attack:
Anger – from this not being the first time, nor the 500th time!:
Concern – not for the damage this type of pollution can cause the planet which is none,
unless you count the animals. But, the damage for our future generations. Everyone will be deaf.
Mother Nature will make everybody’s ears just fall off.
I felt obligated to do something. I couldn’t just ignore it and drive off as I had always done
As a mature adult, my concern for the welfare of the younger generations, and wisdom deemed one
course of action: Stereo War you lil’ Piss-Ant!!
As bouncy boy came hoppity, skippity, to a stop beside me, I ejected ABBA from the CD (oh, bite me!),
popped in Led Zepplen’s Physical Graffitti, punched up Kasmir, and cranked that puppy up to 10 on the
volume. I jumped and bounced as high, then higher than that kid. I was smiling and talking smack,
(don’t know what, I couldn’t hear me), then my nose started bleeding. But he never even looked in my
When the light turned green, he casually drove thru the intersection. I was some what deflatted, but
maybe it was already too late for the poor kid. As I started to pull away I turned down the volume
and thought I heard a squawk…like from a patrol car…it was.
One of the tissues I had stuffed in my nostrils to stop the bleeding fell on the officers clip-board
while I signed for “Anticipating” the signal ticket (vibrating over the stop line), and violation of
the noise ordinance. I quickly flicked the tissue onto the floor board then sheepishly handed him the
clipboard. He was apparently talking to me, I just nodded my head (with my one bloody tissue flapping
in my left nostril),like I heard every word. I did manage to lip read something about “way past time”
and “should grow up”.