New Stock Market Terms
I could not resist adding these new descriptions to our vocabulary. I hope
you find that they fit with today’s economy.
CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO– Corporate Fraud Officer
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse
VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower
P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps
crashing
BROKER — What my broker has made me
STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock
FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected
MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks
CASH FLOW– The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet
BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself
for a financial genius
BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife
gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex
STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between
themselves
STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell
YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share
WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240
per share
PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.
Tags: amp, archaic word, assets, bear market, cash flow, ceo, corporate fraud, corporations, economy, embezzlement, financial, financial genius, financial planner, institutional investor, lawyer, life in a nutshell, marketers, money, nutshell, poor sucker, stock analyst, stock market terms, stock split, stocks, toilet, vocabulary, yahoo
October 13th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
[...] Original post by money news blog [...]
October 14th, 2008 at 1:44 am
PERFECT!!!!!
Love the way you think Linda!!!
Leanne Lonergans last blog post..Beware the tricks of colour!!!!!!
October 14th, 2008 at 4:44 am
Wow! That was sooo funny. I’m still laughing over the definition of ‘market correction’. Awesome.
mrtumnass last blog post..Growing Cover Crops
October 14th, 2008 at 4:49 am
Hehe, I loved these new vocab stuffs, especially the CEO and CFO lol
wilsons last blog post..It is Cushing’s Syndrome, Not Crushing’s Syndrome!
October 14th, 2008 at 7:16 am
Hey Leanne … Thot a little humor would help the day.
Hi Mrtumnas … happened all the time, keep smilin!
Hi Wilson … Glad I could give you a little chuckle.
October 14th, 2008 at 10:28 am
Hey Linda. Great post. Make me smile….
October 14th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Hi Luanne … Glad I could make you smile! Have a good one!
October 14th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Great post Linda, most amusing
I thought cash flow was something the governments did. They take the flow of cash from your wallet, to theirs.
PS Just launched my new web site, I’d love to know what you think:- http://www.solreka.com
SolRekas last blog post..SolReka Website Launch
October 14th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
LOL, too funny and so true! Love your site, very cute.
October 14th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Hey Linda,
Very funny…sad but true… Gotta love it!
Barbaras last blog post..Barbara’s Ladybug Has A Mall !
October 14th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Hi Solreka … You are the winner! Yes flow to their wallets!
I am on my way over to see what you have done!
Hi Melinda … Thank you
Hi Barbara … Glad to give ya a smile