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New Stock Market Terms

I could not resist adding these new descriptions to our vocabulary.  I hope
you find that they fit with today’s economy.

CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer

CFO– Corporate Fraud Officer

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse

VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower

P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps

BROKER — What my broker has made me

STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock

FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected

MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks

CASH FLOW– The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet

BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself
for a financial genius

BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife
gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex

STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between

STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell

YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share

WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240
per share

PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.

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No Responses to “New Stock Market Terms”

  1. New Stock Market Terms · Stocks-Trading.ExplainedOnline.Net Says:

    […] Original post by money news blog […]

  2. Leanne Lonergan Says:


    Love the way you think Linda!!!

    Leanne Lonergans last blog post..Beware the tricks of colour!!!!!!

  3. mrtumnas Says:

    Wow! That was sooo funny. I’m still laughing over the definition of ‘market correction’. Awesome.

    mrtumnass last blog post..Growing Cover Crops

  4. wilson Says:

    Hehe, I loved these new vocab stuffs, especially the CEO and CFO lol

    wilsons last blog post..It is Cushing’s Syndrome, Not Crushing’s Syndrome!

  5. Linda Says:

    Hey Leanne … Thot a little humor would help the day.

    Hi Mrtumnas … happened all the time, keep smilin!

    Hi Wilson … Glad I could give you a little chuckle.

  6. Luanne Says:

    Hey Linda. Great post. Make me smile….

  7. Linda Says:

    Hi Luanne … Glad I could make you smile! Have a good one!

  8. SolReka Says:

    Great post Linda, most amusing

    I thought cash flow was something the governments did. They take the flow of cash from your wallet, to theirs. 🙂

    PS Just launched my new web site, I’d love to know what you think:-

    SolRekas last blog post..SolReka Website Launch

  9. Melinda Says:

    LOL, too funny and so true! Love your site, very cute.

  10. Barbara Says:

    Hey Linda,

    Very funny…sad but true… Gotta love it!

    Barbaras last blog post..Barbara’s Ladybug Has A Mall !

  11. Linda Says:

    Hi Solreka … You are the winner! Yes flow to their wallets! 🙂 I am on my way over to see what you have done!

    Hi Melinda … Thank you

    Hi Barbara … Glad to give ya a smile 🙂

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